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 mormon heavenly ecology |
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Cognitive Dissonance:
Mormon Prophet's heavenly projection
Gnostic Mormon Zeitgeist?
6/14/07 Joseph Fielding Smith Institute
Joseph Fielding Smith Institute of Latter-day Saint History,
Statisticians and Scholars alike agree: Given the elapsed time since the Death of Joseph Smith there has been adequate motive and opportunity for Joseph, with the help of his spiritual wives, to have overpopulated an entire planet by now. It would be enlightening to know if a planet overpopulated by Mormons would find their fate to be in the hands of a Prophet that can deliver happiness when there is standing room only.
The Joseph Fielding Smith Institute LDS History promises more funding for research into the field of Statistical Analysis regarding the probabilities on Joseph Smith's Heavenly experiment and its potential outcome.
Of course there is no way of knowing for sure, there is only statistical probability and the law of attraction; there is no hard data to retrieve but the likelihood of bliss in Mormon Heaven would be informational for the Melchizedek Priesthood, apostles and devotees expecting to join him in their quest to populate the universe.
Starting with the base number of thirty-three agreed upon spiritual wives the Joseph Fielding Smith Institute of Latter-day Saint History has calculated the number of offspring to be between thirteen and twenty-one billion Mormons on the planet where Joseph Smith is Lord.
BOM review:
Mythological Saga
Mark
Twain inside the Mormon Brain
During a trip out West, Mark Twain
picked up The Book of Mormon (BOM) to while away the travel time. He
didn't think much of its literary value, but he did find it an unusually
effective cure for insomnia:
"All men have heard of the Mormon Bible, but few except the 'elect'
have seen it, or, at least, taken the trouble to read it. I brought
away a copy from Salt Lake. The book is a curiosity to me, it is such
a pretentious affair, and yet so 'slow,' so sleepy; such an insipid
mess of inspiration. It is chloroform in print. If Joseph Smith composed
this book, the act was a miracle -- keeping awake while he did it was,
at any rate, miraculous. If he, according to tradition, merely translated
it from certain ancient and mysteriously-engraved plates of copper,
which he declares he found under a stone, in an out-of-the-way locality,
the work of translating was equally a miracle, for the same reason.
His book seems to be merely a prosy detail of imaginary history, with
the Old Testament for a model; followed by a tedious plagiarism of the
New Testament. The author labored to give his words and phrases the
quaint, old-fashioned sound and structure of our King James's translation
of the Scriptures; and the result is a mongrel -- half modern glibness,
and half ancient simplicity and gravity. The latter is awkward and constrained;
the former natural, but grotesque by the contrast. Whenever he found
his speech growing too modern -- which was about every sentence or two
-- he ladled in a few such Scriptural phrases as 'exceeding sore,' 'and
it came to pass,' etc., and made things satisfactory again. 'And it
came to pass' was his pet. If he had left that out, his Bible would
have been only a pamphlet."
Mormon
trompe l'oeil Dogmatology:
Mormon
Dogmatologists
are still spinning the use of doctrine to explain the ancient hackneyed
phrase "And it came to Pass."
Joseph Fielding Smith institute
contined:
Mormon
Prophet's heavenly projection
Mormon Environmentalism: concerns
There is some dispute as to the number of wives, thirty-three may be off
the mark; six degrees of separation would imply 60 sisterwives to be the
magic number. Further archival research by, the Joseph Fielding Smith
Institute of Latter-day Saint History, scholars are aiding the mathematical
/ statistical number crunching for a, later to be published, paper on
Latter-Day-Saint finding.
There may be some ammunition for the fledgling Environmental movement
in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Mormon's United: God's Army on the march
through faith 
Mormon Forum on tour, Cairo Museum Nephi Sphinx
L.D.S.
Environmentalist –– rumblings
There are rumblings of overpopulation and environmental degradation in
the prophet's own back yard. "How could so many Mormons live in the
same place at the same time, what would they live on, eachother, there
are no gentiles to convert?" Mormon Environmentalists agree, Joseph
Smith is far busier multitasking in Heaven than he ever was on Earth.
There is cause for alarm among the true faith believers claiming, Mormon
Dogmatologists know, "If The Earth is like a rubber ball and will
bounce back then the cosmos must be just like Planet Earth and it will
bounce back too."
The persistence of doubt continues: Further exploration of this topic
will enlighten the mormon environmentalist discussion of Gnostic Mormonism
with –– with Scientific Relish .
Thaddeus Quella
Deseret
News (Salt Lake City)
Perception
Management
On the Religion Making Business
Editor's Note: On
the sacred BOM
It has been observed by many historians and theologians that if the phrase,
"And it came to pass" were replaced by the phrase, "Once
upon a time," the readability of the (BOM) Book of Mormon would be
greatly enhanced.
Example: 'Once upon a time, with golden plates in tow, Angel Moroni
fluttered his wings and flew up and away as the clouds parted for his
passage unto the Lord's domain; a deep booming voice could be heard echoing
from above, as he assended, the booming voice repeated again and again,
"Come hither Moroni. Come hither Moroni."'
As can be seen the essential content of text is perserved but the reader
is further engaged by sparking the imagination and imbuing a sense of
wonder; even a Perfidious Angel can engender endearment.
Wendell Tately
And it came to pass there is More controversy on
"It Came to Pass"
[Disputed count of "It Came to Pass" 1,381 times verses 1,353 times makes for decrepit anomalies over and over but the salient content remains the same regardless of the tally.]
Using the low
count, makes statistical news.
With the phrase, "it came to pass" recurring only 1,353 times,
comprising a total of 6,675 words, and represents only 2.5 percent of
the content of The Book of Mormon, yet still The BoM (Book of Mormon)
remains the most redundant and hackneyed text ever written.
The centerpiece
is Johnson's translation of BOM is the spin to make a lively and accessible
translation, which, perhaps despite his intentions, could conceivably
entice new converts to the Mormon Church through hypnotic persuasion and
numbing redundance in passages that require a leap of faith that's too
great for a gentile to appreciate.
Under Johnson's studious and faithful editorship, The Book of Mormon becomes
a thrilling and briskly paced mythological saga of redundant unknowability
. . .
Thaddeus Quella
Giza:
The Newest Zion Pyramid Scheme
growing the faith business
Pharaonic Reconstruction
Pyramids of Cheops, Cairo Egypt
Missionary
Mormons have proposed to the Council of Antiquities in Cairo a bold idea,
to rehabilitate the Sphinx of the Cheops to conform to a revisionist historical
view of the world. Beyond Postmodern, the project is touted to increase
visitorship to Egypt and its historic sites. It is said to target an untapped
market for both psudoscience and mythology for the prophet. The dollars
discussed are substantial.
At present the Cairo Museum is doubtful of the success of the project, however, the proposal is on the table and if there are the funds it will be done.
As part of the project, the missionaries have insisted on replacing the traditional camel tours with tours in two-wheeled carts (Mormon Handcarts) to be pushed and pulled by young Mormon Missionaries. The carts are to symbolize the Great Western Mormon Migration to Salt Lake City of the 185o's.
the Implication of finding
Mirror Planets, Enigma Quadrant
Fitting doctrine to destiney will be a stretch if it is verified that
the Planet KOLOB and Planets OLIBLISH and ENISH-GO-ON-DOSH are infact
locked in slave orbits.
The doctrinal implications of having two sets of planets on which God
lives sets into play another form of theology. Mormons are prepred for
such occasions as the Prophet here on Earth will be able to divine the
proper place to direct worship. To ward off untoward interest, most of
the revelation is being kept in strict secrecy.
Mormon
Sphinx, Joseph Smith Monument: Mormon Zeitgeist, Anacranistic Apologetics
are born to to explain and re-explain while the world moves on to deal
with the real, knotty problems of existence for our species.
Egyptology: Mormon Pyramid Scheme
Pyramid Schemes: Sphinx rehabilitation Joseph Smith
revisionist history and tourist dollars, growing the religion making
business.
The Deseret Enlightenment
A suitable wonder
with cringing and gnashing of teeth
Masons often wonder
of the Mormon Movement and its use of Masonic thinking rendered through
the mind of a grave robber; Masonic ritual and symbol co-opted to serve
another power beyond inquiring thought and social intercourse for the
common good. We must wonder of the common good "When the prophet
has spoken the thinking has been done."
Occultic and Masonic
Influence in Early Mormonism
Lying to the outside
world is rooted practice within Mormonism, Masonic-borrowed oaths of
loyalty and obedience to the tribe secures the duped into a complicity;
an arrangement for rewards never to be collected . . .
Thank God
"The
Earth is like a rubber ball and will bounce back."
Baptism
for the dead
More Posthumous Baptisms
Temple
News Press Release:
Milton Friedman Conversion Complete
LDS news, June 10, 2007, Mormon Tabernacle Announcement:
Mormons have successfully converted and baptized Milton Friedman to
the true faith posthumously. "Milton Friedman is now where he belongs,
Mormon Paradise. Milton Friedman has pierced the vail, now passed into
the radiance of Mormon Heaven. The 'invisible hand man' is now doing
his most powerful work now that he is one of us."
parson Carson Gallant Charoot
Spirits speak from the Beyond
Milton Friedman Speaks:
From the beyond Milton Freidman communicates to his medium, here on
Earth, Tom Friedman, shill for Globalization, the Classified Meritocracy
and the Flat Planet.
Milton Freidman Missive as follows: "For the best of all possible
worlds choice is the one force that drives the need to have needs. So
many choices -- so many needs, the invisible hand is the best hand for
demanding supply –– supplying demand."
July, 4, 2007 Missive received by:
Tom Friedman from Milton Friedman, Converted Mormon.
Mormon Posthumous Baptism of jews is still a source of ire for the Jewish faithful but it seems, according to The Mormons, it's practice beneficial for all involved –– Jews included.
The Salient differences between LDS Mormons and Mormon Fundies appears in the fault line between feral piety and domesticated Zealotry.
Preliminary finding:
Keen on Fecundity
The Salient differences between LDS Mormons and Mormon Fundies appears
in the fault line between feral piety and domesticated Zealotry.
It's like the Fundaliens had landed and a few humans sold out to the
Fundaliens and beget Mormolians. These Mormolians, more domesticated than
their brethern are like no other species.
They call themselves Mormons and they walk the planet and do what they
do to further earn honors (chits) to cart off to other constellations,
galaxies, hell, nebulae to propagate a personal strain of Mormon. On this
planet deeded to the devotee, religious tradition holds this to be done
with one's Spiritual Partner for one to propagate progeny to worship you
as their creator -- their God (Mormon Fundies get as many wives as they
need to turn this trick) to secure an everafter in the hereafter.
Fecund Mission: It's a growth industry, it's all about growth,
making babies, the mission, prosperity, making more babies; it's the full
leap –– to faith (NoSpace Suit Needed) regardless of which Mormon
Sect, they are off to worlds beyond with full faith and credit from Joe
Smith himself.
In a perfect universe, Evangelicals and Mormons would run off together
to another planet to do works of wonder and live to conquer gentiles and
save souls alturnatly until they eat eachother up.
Howard Hughes and Richard Nixon found Mormons usful and George Bush carries
on this religious tradition. Willing empty vessels are handy here because
Mormons live for the Great Cosmic Hereafter filled with sprinkles and
glitter and fecundity. Unfortunately, this is not Science Fiction or Scientology,
it's Mormonism and "The Earth is like a rubber ball and will bounce
back." Mormons worry not about the moral hazard of faith. Mormonism
is"Health in the navel, marrow in the bone, strength in the loins
and in the sinews, power in the priesthood be upon me and upon my posterity
through all generation of time and throughout all eternity forever and
ever evermore, pay-lay-ale. O God, hear the words of my mouth!" forever.
Amen.
Hugo Baltzer
conclusive text here
Conclusive texts are at present being compiled from the original manuscripts by Hugo Baltzer. In cooperation with the Mormon Temple and the Joseph Fielding Smith Institute of Latter-day Saint History texts are retrieved, photocopied and archived for the preservation of origional intent. The Book of Mormon, BOM is to make more news once the cipher is deciphered by our inhouse cryptologist, Hugo Baltzer
mormon zeitgeist
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One
might Ask?
One
might ask why pick on the Mormons and that's a fair question.
One might say because, as a metaphor, it's easy. When shaping a short
treaties on self deception to model all organized religion why not choose
a no brainer . . . GOK
